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allen garrett's story of life |
 If
I'd only known...
A 25 foot swan dive into 2 feet of water can be a life changing
event. I learned this personally on a hot August day on the
outskirts of Tallahassee, Florida about 20 years ago. My brother and
I were on a "boy’s day out" at the beach excursion that turned into
"A Nightmare at the Emergency Room". We had been drinking most of
the day and were heading back towards home with a days worth of
sunburn. As we began to feel the heat on our shoulders, I told him
about a beautiful underwater spring that has rock diving platforms
and crystal clear water. We were less than an hour away from it at
this time but we were crossing a bridge that was about 3/4 mile long
and it crossed an inlet of the Gulf of Mexico. One of us suggested
that we could just dive off here and I immediately pulled my RX-7 to
the foot of the bridge. We walked quickly to the middle of the
bridge and I climbed up on the pylon and jokingly told my brother
that I would go first because he is bigger than me and he could help
pull my head out of the sand if the water was too shallow. I dove
out into a decent swan and swooped slowly as the water came rushing
at my head. I wanted to shear the water so as to slice the top of it
instead of going deep. I guess that was the only smart thing I did
all day...BAM!!! I hit the water with a jolt like I had never
experienced from a dive before.
When you dive from such a distance, the first thing you do is to
immediately start swimming to the top of the water because usually
you are so deep that you can run out of breath before you get to the
top. Well, that was my first inclination, but when I tried to look
up to see which way was up, I not only realized that I could not
move my neck but also that I already was up! It was a frightful
moment. I could see the bright sunlight dancing off the top of the
water just inches from my head. The next couple minutes seemed like
hours. There was no hesitation and no guessing to it. I immediately
realized what I had done... "well, Allen, you've broken your neck
and your lying on the ocean floor getting ready to take your last
breath". I was becoming aware of the waves gently moving my face and
body back and forth against the sand and I could still see the
lifeline of oxygen that was just above my head, but so far out of
reach. I could move nothing.
All of a sudden, my body rose out of the water and I saw my arms
waving aimlessly in the air in front of me. My head was spinning in
circles and the whole world was a whirling blur. I caught a glimpse
of my brother, and I tried to say thank you but it came out as a
slurred groan because my diaphragm was paralyzed and my vocal cords
were twisted and contorted from the uncontrolled bobbing of my head,
which was no longer skeletally attached to my torso. My brother
dragged me to the beach and laid me down where another man had met
him and immediately began checking me over. You see, God knew I
wouldn't make it through this one without some extra help so he put
a fisherman on the other side of the bridge who just happened to be
an Emergency Medical Technician.
It was, and is, very unusual to me how comfortable I became with
this situation as it progressed. I told my brother that everything
was OK and I knew it would be. I could see the fear in his eyes and
it was a fear that I'd never seen before, but I held onto the
comfortable feeling that this was meant to be. I had my biggest
battle at this time with my breathing. My neck was swelling up to
almost twice its normal size and I had taken in some water so I was
struggling for every shallow breath; and freaking! One of the
strangest things that can happen to a paralyzed body is the
disassociation with the mind. I felt like my legs were raised
straight up in the air. I asked my brother to put them down and he
explained to me that they were stretched out flat on the sand. I
went through the experimental evaluation of my physical powers and
realized that I had been stripped of all my "super" powers. All that
I had control of was from my chin up.
The ambulance showed up shortly and the E.M.T.'s mounted me on a
Stryker board, which they strapped my head and body to so that I
would not damage my spinal cord any worse than it already was. By
this time I was on an oxygen mask and still not breathing well at
all. I noticed the E.M.T.'s began to question themselves about
transporting me and about that time I heard a helicopter which
swooped down and saved the day. They asked me if I'd rather ride on
the Stryker board that I was already on (which was too large to fit
all the way in the helicopter door) or to switch over to the correct
one and I guess you know my reply. My feet were hanging out the door
all the way to Tallahassee Memorial Hospital.
My surgery and rehabilitation kept me in the hospital for a year. I
crushed three vertebrae in my neck C-5,C-6, and C-7. The
neurosurgeon fused these together and screwed my head into a "halo"
which kept my head from moving for 4 months. The hospital days were
worse than anything I could ever describe. The physical pain was
nothing compared to the humiliation and emotional trials that I
experienced. Believe me, the physical pain was something else, too.
I didn't know anything about Life lessons at this time and I blocked
everything out. I became a great actor and I'd tell everyone how
everything was just fine and how I was going to "set the World on
fire" as soon as I got out.
My life had revolved around my ego for many, many years and I had
been pretty successful in that game. I always had the hottest cars
and I liked to think that I was King of my little hill. I was a car
salesman at the time of my accident and I had incorporated some of
my "taking advantage of" skills into a small drug business on the
side. I had become a real nightmare to my Self and I realize now
that I would be dead or the living dead if I hadn't broken my neck
that day. I had a small group of followers then that I called
friends and I swear they would have followed me straight into Hell!
Well, I guess they did. I've always had a leadership quality that
attracts people and made it possible for them to be influenced by
what I did or said and that is unfortunate that I didn't realize
that this same Power could be used in the opposite direction to get
closer to the One who gave it to me.
My alcohol and drug abuse continued for years after my accident and,
no doubt, has greatly affected my recovery rate both physically and
emotionally. My physical pain was intense for years and the doctors
helped me to stay over-medicated on request. I pushed my emotions so
far back into a dark closet that I'm amazed that I can still feel
anything. I pretty much gave up on God during my wild days and I
didn't see any reason to praise Him for putting me in a wheelchair
(at the time), even though I had others in many states sending up
many prayers for me.
One evening, when I was in Intensive Care, I was in incredible pain
and I had buzzed my nurse for another shot of Morphine. She came and
informed me that I must wait another hour and I wasn't sure that I
would make it through this pain. I began to ponder that I was laying
there surrounded by Get Well cards from people I didn't even know,
from places I'd never heard of, and all these people were getting on
their knees and praying to God to give me the strength to make it
through this terrible ordeal. I had never even closed my eyes and
prayed to make it through the next minute. I decided that it was my
turn. I closed my eyes and began to pray and I felt a pressure
around my wrists as if something was gently squeezing them and my
hands came together in prayer form (in my mind; at this time I could
not move my arms). As I prayed, my words began to take control of
themselves and I heard words of praise flow out of me that sounded
like an evangelist on a good roll. The pressure around my wrists
increased and the "angels" took me out of the hospital bed, through
the window and out across the skies. I continued to pray and
clenched my eyes tighter because I knew if I stopped, the ride would
be over.
The beautiful blue skies and fluffy white clouds were the most
joyous thing I had ever experienced. I could see my hands and wrists
in front of me and I was wrapped in white. I was shown awesome green
mountains and deep blue lakes as well as desert sands and beautiful
city lights before we turned and circled the other way. On our trip
back I saw snow-covered mountains and began to feel a chill as we
dropped in elevation to see a smelly alley and a couple bums
sleeping around a dumpster. There were broken bottles and trash
everywhere. This would be the last sight before I reentered the
window and was back in my "torture bed". "Wow, what was that"! I was
completely befuddled. Well, if it worked once... I closed my eyes
and began to pray, and again, I was taken out the window and for
last one encore. This time seemed to be much quicker but it was the
same scenery. I decided to take a breather to evaluate this
situation.
Obviously, God was showing me where I'd come from and some of the
opportunities that were ahead of me... if I stay away from the
garbage. At the time I was too concerned about reality to take
notice of this incredible gift. I played the familiar game of ...
"What was that? Am I going insane? Maybe it's the drugs! I hope
nobody saw me!"
The months that I spent in the hospital were much worse than I can
even remember. I was unable to move anything from my neck down so I
was totally dependent on others to help me eat, dress, bathe, shave,
brush my teeth, and my personal favorite- bowel and bladder
management. This was something that I would not have ever thought
I'd live long enough to experience. The nurses made it seem so
simple at the hospital but it was so humiliating that I had to joke
about it or I would cry. Later, as I began to venture out of the
hospital, I would have "accidents" and would rely on my family or
friends to help me change and get redressed. Of all the lows that I
experienced, this had to be the lowest that it got. My body had gone
from a 23 year old athletic man to a one year old baby over night. I
had to retrain my new body and my life from the beginning, which was
the irony of my whole accident. I didn't see it for some time but it
was obvious that I had screwed up my life and God had seen fit to
show me what really counts in life. My process of learning would
have to start from the very beginning: again.
I wish I could have changed my life the next day after my accident.
It would make so much sense for a traumatic slap in the face to just
turn a life around immediately. But that's not the way this
hard-headed human reacted. I spent the first few years convincing
everyone else that everything was OK and "I" was going to do just
fine. I knew that I was a strong individual and I have always
accepted and conquered all challenges that came my way. What I
ignored for so long was the fact that no one can do it on their own.
I began to understand that God had this whole thing planned out for
me and the more I wrestled with it and tried to do things "my way",
I just slowed the healing process. I've been extremely lucky to have
been through these hardships and painful experiences and I am
thankful for every single experience. I concentrated for a long time
on the "Woe with me" but now I can see the "Wow with me"!
I regained some arm movement slowly while I was in the hospital. It
was gradual and painful but each small twitch was a tremendous
victory. We have no idea how much we take for granted with our
health and bodies. The amount of mind power that I used to try to
move a muscle that was not quite "connected" was overwhelming. The
therapy was physically and mentally exhausting. I was easily
frustrated because I could swim miles and play racquetball for hours
just months earlier, but now I was expending every ounce of energy
on just being able to raise my arm to my face. I slowly became able
to feed myself and push my own wheelchair. I worked hard on trying
to dress myself and transfer from bed to wheelchair, etc. but I just
didn't have the muscles to do that.
I was discharged from the Jackson Memorial Rehabilitation Hospital
with enough strength to start a new life but I wasn't finished with
the old one yet. I continued my self-abuse with my wild life where
everything revolved around partying and "what can I get", instead of
"what can I give". I had continuous bladder infections and was
beginning to realize a great deal of depression and anger that I was
harboring. It took years to get to the point where I decided to do
something about it. I also became more independent and moved out
into a house of my own where I still live and take care of almost
everything by myself. Everyone has their own timing in life and mine
finally came around; but not without some more Divine intervention.
One morning, I got in my car to go to work but as I pulled out of
the driveway, I noticed that my hand controls (that operates the gas
and brake) felt a little strange. I put the car in drive and it kind
of stalled so I floored it to wake it up. The pedal stuck on the
floor and I took off like a rocket. I tried braking to slow it down
but the brake is hand operated and I was not strong enough to slow
it enough. I reached up to throw it out of gear and turn the engine
off but I was thrown off balance because I was going around a curve
( I have very little trunk balance and I didn't have a seat belt on
so I was falling away from the steering wheel and controls). The car
shot up to 60 mph and ran straight into a brick house. I was sitting
in the neighbor’s living room with the tires still spinning. There
was no one home, thank God. The next door neighbor came over and
asked if I was alright and I replied that I was just checking to see
what they were having for breakfast.
The X-rays showed that I was fine but somehow they overlooked a
broken sternum which became a new nightmare for my already difficult
life. I experienced intense pain in my chest as I continued on with
my routines. I was working as a counselor for the disabled at this
time. I had been there for five years but because of my pain and
days missed I was released. This may have perpetuated my greatest
moments. I had used this job of listening to others problems to
block or overshadow my own and this separation allowed me to focus
on ME for long enough to see the work that needed to be done. I
still continued my partying, though. This was something that I was
good at and it made me feel like I was accepted and loved by others
around because after all, drunks love everybody!
Six months later I was out drinking on the lake and wrecked my boat
by running ashore in the dark. We had been at a nightclub and stayed
'til midnight. I tried to maneuver the boat through the fog and
darkness with the help of my friend who was sort of navigating. We
weren't going very fast so it wasn't a violent crash when we slid up
onto a bank that we weren't aware lived there. We had to sleep on
the freezing cold boat overnight because my friend was unable to
move it (we were all the way out of the water). The lake police came
the next morning and had us towed off the land and back to my dock.
Was someone trying to tell me something or what!
I made a conscious effort to change the next day. I started seeing a
counselor that helped me take notice that I was swimming upstream. I
was causing my own problems, physically and emotionally, and I had
to change the basis of what my life had been built on. You see, I
was always out for the fun that the world had to offer, the sex,
drugs and rock and roll. All these things caused pain and accidents
in my life and I finally realized that God was showing me that I had
a choice to make; the broad path that leads to destruction, or the
narrow path that leads to peace and true beauty. I chose to waller
in the dirty alleys for a while longer and I experienced more
devastating events and accidents as God was trying to get my
attention. He finally got my attention in a Baptist Church Revival
in Myrtle Beach when I was confronted face to face with the question
of "was I sure where I'd go if I died today?". My body fought it,
but my spirit dragged me up to the alter and as the elder prayed for
me, God touched me in a powerful way. I thought I'd pass out in
front of everyone and I probably would have, if I wasn't holding so
tight to my wheelchair. God lifted 100 lbs. of dead weight off of my
shoulders and I "walked" away free and lighter than I'd ever known
before. My life has been gloriously changed and I have since been
touched by God repeatedly and I was furious with myself for being so
stubborn and waiting so long to find true happiness! From that point
my life seems to have accelerated. I've created my own job and
business, which I dearly love. My relationship with my family has
drastically improved, and greatest of all I've met someone who's
love I've missed and I will never be without again. . . "Jesus
Christ"!!
I've always been somewhat creative, but an injury like mine will
cause you to come up with new ways of doing things that can be
exciting and rewarding. I can remember when I was a child and a ball
rolled under a bed and I used a broom to reach under to safely
recover it. I was so proud that I had invented a way to save the
day. Well, there are many ways for individuals to save their own
days. I invented some innovative equipment for those who have
difficulty in standing to use the toilet, shower, hot tub or pool.
These are being installed in restaurants and hotels as well as
private homes and institutions. I started my own business 3 years
ago and the future is beginning to look very good.
I enjoy educating others on the needs of the disabled community.
There are so many things that are very difficult for those with
impairments, and it is not possible for everyone to know how others
feel; or use the bathroom; or drive a car; or manage their own
house...until you reach out and ask. We only gather education by
being willing to learn. Many people have phobias about the disabled,
and may even feel vulnerable around us as if "what if this happened
to me" or "I wonder if he's contagious". Well, I believe that it has
happened to you. It's happened to all of us, because we all have our
own disabilities that we are struggling with and no one is fooling
anyone into believing otherwise. If we reach out to understand
others difficulties and begin to see ourselves in them we can learn
valuable lessons on how to grow ourselves. I see it happening more
and more every day and it reinforces in myself what a wonderful time
it is to be ALIVE!!
Allen Garrett - 2005
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Allen
Garrett, CEO
Access-Able Designs, Inc.
494 53rd Square
Vero Beach, FL 32968
Phone: (877) 853-7816
Fax: (772) 872-3200
E-Mail: alleng11@comcast.net
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